Lots of people have to leave their dog home alone during the day (or night) while they work. They worry that their dog is lonely while they’re away. Perhaps you feel guilty about leaving your dog home alone. Maybe your dog cries when you leave the house. Or, maybe your dog has some behavior problems and destroys things while you’re gone. Sometimes people think that if their dog had a dog friend to play with while they were away the dog would be happier. What’s the real story?
First of all, ask yourself if your guilt is well-founded or not. Almost all of us have to work and that means dogs will be left alone at least part of the time. Realistically, we can’t spend every waking moment with our dogs and it wouldn’t be good for us or for our dogs if we did. You, as a human, need to have some life away from your dog. And your dog needs to have some down time when he’s not watching your every move waiting to see what you’re going to do. Your dog needs some time to relax on his own.
Believe it or not, most dogs sleep while their owners are away. Although your dog may greet you ecstatically at the door when you arrive home, chances are that five minutes earlier he was taking a nap. Your dog simply has excellent hearing. He most likely hears you pull your car in the driveway, or even drive down the road; he can hear you enter your apartment building. Your dog has plenty of warning so he can be waiting at the door to greet you. Most dogs do sleep and relax while you’re working so there’s no need to feel too guilty about leaving them alone. He doesn’t spend the day fretting and pining for you.
Of course, there are some exceptions. If your dog has separation anxiety, which is a psychological condition, then your dog may bark, whine, cry, defecate in the house and destroy things while you’re away from him. But you should know that there is a difference between genuine separation anxiety, which may require behavior modification and medication to treat, and a dog that is simply sad to see you leave for work. Your dog may bark and cry when you leave the house but as soon as you’re gone he may pick up a rawhide and start occupying himself or take a nap. If your dog does this then he probably doesn’t suffer from real separation anxiety. He knows how to cope with your absence.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get a second dog as a playmate for your dog. Many dogs will enjoy having another dog to play with. But you should make sure that you have time for a second dog. If you’re already finding it hard to make enough time for one dog then two dogs can be even more demanding. There is twice the grooming, twice the exercise, twice everything. Plus, two dogs playing wildly in a house can get on your nerves sometimes. There are times that two dogs can be twice as naughty. Of course, they can also be twice as loving and comforting, too.
You should also consider your dog’s reaction to getting another dog. Not every dog likes to have a new dog come into the household. Dogs can be just as jealous and possessive as people can. If your dog is strongly bonded to you then he may not like the idea of sharing your time and attention with a new dog. In extreme cases two dogs may not get along at all and you may need to rehome one of them.
Even if your dog gets along well with other dogs in neutral places things could be very different if you bring a new dog into his home. Consider carefully before getting a second dog. It could take your dog a while to accept the newcomer and things could be tense until the dogs call a truce.
Getting a second dog as a playmate for your dog can be a good idea but it’s not something that you should rush into without thinking it through. Consider your situation and your time. Consider how your dog is likely to react. Then you may decide that your dog does need a friend but you’ll know you’ve made a good decision.
Tell us your experiences getting a friend for your dog in the comment section below.
Until next time…..
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Just got a second dog (border collie/austrailion shepherd) to play with my border collie. It was a good choice. They like each others company. My border collie looks like he is better shape than ever.
I adopted a second Golden Retriever 6 months after getting my first. I was looking for a “red ” coat golden, passed up 4 other goldens while looking for my next. My family was not supportive and tried to talk me out of it (too much to handle, too much care, twice the expense, etc.)
They changed their mind soon after when they realized I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I love the breed, one is already a therapy dog (going on 3 years) and the other may or may not be a therapy dog. (he’s still young and learning the ropes for therapy)
Being a trainer, I have the education, and experience to know the demands and rewards of owning 2 dogs. I don’t have a fenced in yard, but enjoy the daily walks showing off 2 goldens and being loved by 2 dogs is the greatest feeling ever.
Awesome Article…my clients are always calling me for my advice in getting a second or third dog. I have 3 of my own (2 Goldens and a Gordon Setter), plus a service dog in training (Golden), so believe me, we have a full house. There is a lot to consider before adding to your pack. Thanks for spelling it out. The only one that doesn’t get enough rest in my house is me!
Wayne, this is a great piece. I couldn’t have said it any better. I have been asked this question numerous times by dog owner, and have told them pretty much the same thing. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the comments everybody!
Wayne great article. My fiance and I bought our Beagle “Harley” almost 3 years ago. When I moved home to go to school I brought Harley to live with me at my parents house with their SHeltie “Colby” whenever we seperate the 2 of them all the other does is lay around and you can tell they are depressed. They are like 2 peas in a pod. Having 2 dogs is double the responsability but seeing them play and jump around with one another and know they are happy with their “friend” makes it all worth it.
For many years I had a single dog and small children. As the children left home I felt I had more time for a second dog. I got one. My male was nine and did not enjoy his younger sister until she was two and then I would find them sharing face cleaning sessions and going outside together to investigate with a friend. When my male passed my younger girl grieved and so we added a younger sister, who she accepted on sight. We now go to the vet together as the vet is not as scary if you think he might be looking at the other dog. Of course, you need to make sure this is ok with your vet. But two dogs are more work and if you do not have the time for training, playing and can not walk them together, don’t go there. Also, make sure your bed is big enough, even if they have their own beds , musical bed games can occur in the night.
Thank you for the advice this was the best. I have a Shih Tzu, and was thinking of another dog, But now I know it is my guilt she really does well alone. I don’t think she will like sharing me with another dog.I can barley talk on the phone without her pulling on my arm to get off.
Elly, I’m glad the article helped you with your decision on getting another dog.
Wayne
I have a dog who is ten and he has been getting a little lonely when we are not around. He is a lab chow mix and very mellow. His idea of going to the vet is that he is at a play group, and our observation of him with other dogs is that he accepts them and is very friendly. Should we adopt a young dog or an older one? Should we choose one that is also a lab mix?
Hi Judi:
It sounds like you have a wonderful dog that would enjoy the company of a younger dog to keep him busy and young at the same time. I would go with a young dog but not a puppy. Sometime the pups are just too much for an older dog.
A 2 year old dog would probably be good and you won’t have to go thru the puppy stuff. A lab mix is good but I don’t thinks that it is a must.
Good luck and I hope your dog enjoys the company.
Wayne
Great Article! I have a 2 year old min pin rescue mix. I thought he was lonely, adopted another 1 yr old min pin rescue mix (who is an absolute sweetheart) as a trial - but he did not enjoy sharing my husband and I with her. I know they would have been friends if I gave it some time, but after 3 days, he stopped coming around me and was previously a lap dog. I only adopted her for him, it was heartbreaking, but I had to give her back as he would not have been the same.
I have a 9 month old Saint Bernard female, we love her very much and whenever we are home she behaves very well…… But whenever she is left home alone for anywhere from 4 hours to 13 hours she is chewing things. This is a newer behavior, she went through her teething phase and redirection was very effective at curing it.
Our current problem started a few weeks ago, she has chewed the living room rug, taken books off tables and destroyed them, chewed cords, door trim, table legs…. well you get the idea.
I am concerned about this behavior, we have tried redirection and chew toys, her favorite bones etc, etc, etc, and nothing is working.
We take her to the park around 2 - 3 times each week for 60-90 minutes. We have a smaller yard but she runs around in that for however much she likes and plays at the fence with our neighbors dog.
I think she may be lonely, and I am considering getting a second dog. I wonder if anyone has input to share. Any constructive advice would be appreciated.
And just an FYI for those that are going to say that I am a bad owner for leaving her home for 13 hours a few days a week, please be mindful of the fact that I am a firefighter/EMT and this is the shift schedule that is available. Those that risk our lives for the public should not have to sacrifice the joy of having a dog.
Tony:
The truth is 9 month old dogs chew things ! She needs a crate or a safe place in the back yard.
One thing I tell my clients….when you have a 1 year old dog chewing things you will have a 10 year old dog chewing things. It just becomes a habit. The answer is to take away the source of the problem and put the dog where it cannot chew things.
Please DO NOT get another dog until this is corrected or you will have 2 dogs destroying your house.
Get some help from a trainer with obedience training to establish the dog master relationship. That helps teach her what is right and what is wrong. She is going to be BIG so she needs the training NOW before she develops more bad habits.
Wayne
P.S. If you are in the Nashville area give me a call.
Hi.
I have a staffordshire bull terrier who I love dearly. The thing is I live in a flat but would like to get another dog for my girl dog. I take her up the park for over an hour each dayto play fetch plys 2 15 minutes walks just for her to go toilet. But I think she nweds some company as she whines at me all the time and likes alot of attention. I hate leaving her by herself for more then 2 hours as her whine is a bit more distressed when I get back (not social anxiety bad). Believe it or not she aibt a big eater so bones wont keep her happy and she loves seeing other dogs up the parj she just,wants non stop attention. Should I get another dog? Thank you
Jessica:
That is a hard one to answer. But let’s try.
Keep in mind that 2 dogs are twice the responsibility in time and money. You also need to make sure your dog is comfortable with another dog in the house, you know how staffys can be with other dogs.
And don’t forget training….your dog/dogs must be obedience trained well.
Good Luck
Wayne
My dog is very very well behaved and very submissive. Its hust the whining. Have you known anyone to have two dogs in a flat?
hi
was wondering if you could help me? i have a 2yr old German shepherd bitch that i rescued when she was 6month old she is a fantastic family dog but she is not without her faults mainly being she will not tolerate other dogs outside of the house but inside she is fine. we have tried to moderate this behaviour with different training groups to no avail. however when we have looked after family members dogs she is fine with them and loves to play outside as well as in. ruby has a very strong bond to her family and because of this here’s my problem, im considering getting a GSD puppy (bitch) but am worried how it may effect how she feels in the house ( i don’t wont her to feel pushed out) and would love to know if you think she would benefit from having a companion or is this a bad idea?
Matt:
You will never know if your dog will handle a puppy until you try but be careful.
The other thing I want to mention is you are MUCH better off to get the opposite sex. Two females or two males is not always the best mix. Of course some times it works. There are exceptions to every rule.
My thought is that if you are giving Ruby everything she needs in the
way of training, exercise and love she doesn’t really need another dog.
It sounds like you just want another dog. Of course that is OK as well.
Good Luck
Wayne
hi wayne (again)
iv taken onboard your comments and have decided to get another pup and hes a dog as you recomended. i have 1 more problem, since ruby came she has always been fussy with food, and i know i have been the cause of the problem as if she has turned her nose up at it i change her biscuit to try and find one she liked. then i tryed her on meat, that worked for a while but then she refused that too, now shes on green tripe and has been fine on that but no the same problem is occuring she is refusing to eat when she feels like it. would you recomend putting her on a dry food? and should i just persevere with it weather she eats it or not? i worry because she is only slim to begin with. if you can shed some light on this i would be v grateful and maybe can u tell me a food u would recomend? thanks
Matt
Hi there!
We have a 2 and a half year old Golden Retriever. We just moved houses and we can no longer allow her in all parts of the new house (as we did in the old house) and she seems very upset by this. She becomes very hyper and a little bit too much (even though she has been for training and such) to manage when I try to spend time with her.
I was wondering if maybe she would benefit from having a friend to keep her company outside? I just want what’s best for my dog. She has a “friend” of sorts - our cat (they get along very well) - but I’m afraid it isn’t enough for her?
Also, if we did get her a friend, would any breed be okay, even a mixed breed?
Thanks a lot!
Id love some advice too please!!
I have a 14 month old cav, desexed male. I’m wanting to get him a friend and play mate too.
My question is … I’d like to get a golden retriever puppy (female) but I’m wondering how the size difference will go?
I currently take my cav to the dog park often and he’s slightly cautious around the big dogs but once they’ve sniffed etc he seems fine and loves ‘watching’ them play. Occasionally he will play chase with one dog but if there’s a few he’ll just sit back.
Will he be fine with a big dog in his home?
He’s had small friends come to play, he tries to keep them from us but doesn’t do anything if we show the other dog more attention.
Thanks!
Christina:
Rather that getting another dog, spend more time with the one you have.
At 2.5 years she should start to slow down soon. One of the biggest problems I see is that owners don’t spend enough time exercising their dogs.
Take her for walks, throw the ball, maybe even try a doggie day care. You will be amazed what exercise will do for your dog.
Wayne
Rachel:
It shouldn’t be a problem with the different sizes. I’ve seen a bunch of small dog/large dog teams that live in harmony.
Wayne
Hi Wayne,
We recently experienced the loss of our 15 yr old Aussie. Dealing with his loss has been traumatic for me especially as he was my shadow. I’m dealing with his absence a day at a time (it’s been a month), and I’ve had many rough times with his absence. But my reason for writing is to ask your advice on whether to get a new Aussie for our other dog, a Border Collie Aussie Mix that we got a couple years ago. She’s an independent girl of about 6, and doesn’t really herd. Instead, she likes to sit outside and oversee our yard from deer. My husband does not feel we need another dog, but our Aussie Mix had a great time when a friend brought a male pooch over one day. She was like a puppy! We have the opportunity to have an Aussie puppy visit, and possibly keep, but I don’t want my husband to feel pushed into this. Any thoughts you could give me would be greatly appreciated!!!
Gabrielle:
Maybe right now is not a good time for another dog. It sounds like your husband feels he isn’t ready at this time.
Maybe your husband hasn’t gotten over the loss of your Aussie.
Good luck
Wayne
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